You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
