just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize