Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
