I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize