i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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