4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
