Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
