Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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