I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
