Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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