They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
