ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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