I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
