why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
