Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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