Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
this is an emotional support booty call
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