thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
