they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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