So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
