You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
