I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
