butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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