I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
