What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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