Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
