I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
