we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
