I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
