i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
