I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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