He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
