And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize