you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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