the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
