Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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