well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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