I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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