What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
