If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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