it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize