I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I smell like Dick and happiness
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
