in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
