there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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