i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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