He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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