What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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