i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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