told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
