Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
