she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Panties = found
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
