Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
