I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
