I'm jealous of your bromance
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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