wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
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