Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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