Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
