Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
